Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Geriatric Sexcapades

Today in Tempe, Arizona, it was 88 degrees. The orange blossoms are still blooming, the birds are still singing – but I recognize that this is a temporary condition. When temperatures are above 80 in early April, it’s impossible to pretend that Spring is anything other than fleeting. In a matter of weeks, the Sonoran desert will revert to a desiccated wasteland capable of causing heat stroke in a matter of moments.

But for now, Tempe is practically oozing vitality and romance – I catch teenagers necking in my neighborhood, customers are holding hands in the store, and I keep reading novels filled with geriatric sexcapades.

Nothing screams Spring like elder-love.

I didn’t set out to read multiple books on passion in the 70+ set, which makes it somewhat stranger that I coincidentally selected three successive books that featured wrinkled gymnastics. Other people have pointed out that the publishing world sometimes releases multiple titles on similar themes, but nursing home nookie seems a little more bizarre than usual. But what I discovered was that, contrary to my youth-centric stereotypes, these depictions of amorous seniors have a lot to teach even a jaded 20-something like myself. For example: life is too short to waste it on petty lies, deceits, and disagreements. It is important to be honest to yourself and to those around you. Be confident in your physical appearance, because it will only get worse over time and nobody really cares anyway. And, finally, it is never too late to find love, no matter how many wrinkles and sags you might have.

Aren’t those nice messages?

So if you find yourself lovelorn this Spring, I recommend checking out one of the following titles:

The Little Book, by Selden Edwards.

Sima’s Undergarments for Women, by Ilana Stanger-Ross.

Valeria’s Last Stand, by Marc Fitten (this one isn’t coming out until May, so write it down. It’s worth the wait).

These are the perfect books to read during these ephemeral temperate days. And don’t worry, they’re about more than just aged ardor.

- Rachel

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Tempe, Arizona, United States